Lessons Learned From Country Music Part 1

“It ain’t hip to sing about tractors, trucks, little towns and mama. Yeah that might be true, but this is country music and we do” – Brad Paisley, “This is Country Music”

kennyI am a huge country music fan (I mean, there is no winning against me on SongPop). I have had a few friends who have told me that they find it strange as country music fits a certain “slow life” scene – something that I hate. I am definitely a city girl who needs to see tons of skyscrapers and corporate offices to feel “at home”. Nonetheless, I do love country music. On Twitter a few nights ago ” #UnansweredRapQuestions ” was trending (my favourite? ” #UnansweredRapQuestions If Shaggy didn’t do it, who did?” Anyways, it got me thinking of the lessons which I have learned thanks to Country songs.

Lessons About Alcohol

Alcohol – Brad Paisley: I have learned that absolutely every bad decision which has ever been made in a persons life can be blamed on alcohol. Everything from believing lies, fights, breakups, births, high school, wedding speeches, naked pictures to even wearing a lampshade. Any possible thing which you did that was embarrassing, taboo, or wrong can all be blamed and justified on alcohol.

Put a Drink in my Hand – Eric Church: This is more of an interesting concept. There is no need to over complicate this theory. Everything will simply be okay if you put a drink in my hand. After a long week, tough day, so have you, just put a drink in your hand and drink it. It will take the edge off and completely turn your day/week/life around. And if not, please turn to “Alcohol – Brad Paisley”

Red Solo Cup – Toby Keith: Essentially, this is easy. It is okay to talk to, sing about, and be life-long friends with an inanimate object. Again, if people find this weird, please turn to “Alcohol – Brad Paisley”

Rain is a Good Thing – Luke Bryan: Simple math formula which needs to be remembered. Rain makes corn = corn makes whiskey = whiskey makes girls frisky. In the event where you regret getting frisky with someone please turn to “Alcohol – Brad Paisley”

People are Crazy – Billy Currington: If you are ever alone in a bar, go up and talk to the old man. You will talk for hours, leave and think nothing of that night, until that man dies, you find out he was a millionaire who left you with all his money instead of his children. If you are that old man’s children, please turn to “Alcohol – Brad Paisley”

Lessons About Cheating

Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood: If you suspect your boyfriend (or partner) cheating, go to the bar he is at, take a louisville slugger to his vehicle and your key to his leather seats. Take out all your anger on his vehicle. It is completely justified. In the event where you are still upset, see “Drink In my Hand – Eric Chruch”

Gunpowder and Led – Miranda Lambert: The option is still there to completely go to the level above Carrie, and simple go home, load your shotgun, wait by the door, light a cigarette and wait for him to get home.

Cowgirls Don’t Cry – Brooks and Dunn: Now, if you are a Cowgirl and you found out that your husband is cheating on you, as the rules go, you cannot cry. First seek out “Before he Cheats – Carrie Underwood”

Lessons About Failed Relationships

Truth – Jason Aldean: It is better to convince your ex to tell your mutual friends that you are on vacation, in Vegas blowing every dollar, into something bad since you have lost so much weight, or living like a gypsy. The truth is, those are all much less embarrassing than having them know they you are still sad over the break up.

Picture to Burn – Taylor Swift: What is a better way then grabbing a friend, finding pictures of your old relationship and setting them on fire? Seriously, it sounds like a party!

As She’s Walking Away – Zac Brown Band: You should find comfort in the fact that as you are walking away is when he is falling in love and wants you back. Then you are the one that got away. You won.

I will most definitely be doing a part 2, but for now, I am going to call it a night..








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