Irrational Fears

“People are irrational” – Huge Mackay

It is no secret that I am not an night owl (although I do love owls). Late nights are not for me. Mind you, no matter how hard I try, no matter how late I go to sleep, I cannot sleep in, in the mornings. 8:00 on weekends is pretty rare for me. So I guess it balances out.

Moving on, Friday night I went into bed around 10 to read before inevitably falling asleep. Jamie was staying up with his roommates, and I believe one of them had a friend over. I put my book down and fell asleep. I woke up, and the apartment was silent. TV off, no one talking, silent. So I wander out to look for Jamie. Nowhere to be found. I see Smokey and say “were we abandoned” and Smokey is quite intelligent and quite a chatter bug so he responded his usual way with “meow” meaning “yes, we were abandoned”. I immediately go into panic mode because I mean, it is in those moments my mind goes “hey, let’s think about demons”. Jamie comes home and claims he didn’t want to wake me as he was just dropping the guys off at the bar.

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This got me thinking… I have some pretty irrational fears.

The dark. I don’t like it. I sleep facing the door in case someone/thing appears I am not blindsided as I am killed. My body parts cannot be exposed to outside the blankets (because obviously no one/thing can remove them). I think this all comes back to scary Mischa Barton in the Sixth Sense crawling out from under the bed.

Parking garages. These HAVE to be the worst things ever. Seriously – dim lit, creepy as hell. I have seen Criminal Minds, I have seen CSI, I have seen movies. I know what can go down in a parking garage. If I HAVE to park in one, I will walk with my key in between my fingers, because you know, that will definitely deter someone from attacking me.

Stairwells. Similar to parking garages. I hate them. It is worse when they curl so you really can’t look up and know no one is creeping in there waiting to attack.

Shower curtains. Sometimes I will pull them open to make sure no one is there. Like I’ve said, I’ve seen Criminal Minds. This one confuses me the most. I mean, if I were to pull it across and see someone, I wouldn’t know what to do. I would just stand there like an idiot. Confused. I clearly need a plan of action.

Backseats of cars. I saw an Oprah show years ago. Someone popped up with a gun from the backseat. I will not unlock my door until I’ve looked in the back seat to know no one is hiding in there. This alone could save your life. Oprah said so. And if you are in that situation, Oprah said do NOT let them take you to point B. Point B is where you die.

Public washrooms in weird locations. Do you know what I hate? How the women’s washroom is also in the creepiest furthest corner of places. You have to pass the men’s washroom to get there. Should we not get priority spots? For example, we were at a restaurant a few weeks ago. The washrooms were downstairs, these are the directions I got “go down the stairs, go straight through the room, you will see the men’s washroom on your left, keep walking straight to the end of the hall, make a left and go to the end of that hallway, it will be on your right”. Seriously? Needless to say it was like a sprint to and from, plus up the stairs and then you sit back down at the table completely winded and try to act normal.

I think my irrational fears were always there, but looking back I think what made them worse was that I binge watched Criminal minds, then volunteered for almost a year on my local “Sexual Assault Crisis Intervention” line. Yeah, the intensive 15 weeks of training does not prepare you for that first phone call…

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+ Do you have any irrational fears?
+ Seriously, didn’t crazy Mischa Barton leave you horrified years later?
+ Does Criminal Minds/CSI/Crime Shows leave you frightened?

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8 thoughts on “Irrational Fears

  1. I read too much scary things on Reddit’s Let’s Not Meet sub so I totally understand. And it doesn’t help that I have an overactive imagination. Parking garages? I avoid them if I can. Stairwells, too, because I sometimes imagine a demon crawling behind me. Thankfully, my apartment unit has a glass door instead of a shower curtain, but it doesn’t really alleviate my fear of a creepy hand reaching for the light switch while I’m vulnerable in the shower.

    The one thing not on your list but is on mine is the “under the bed”. I specifically chose a low bed that offers no space under it. Hah! Take that murderers and monsters!

  2. bahahahaha. this is great!
    i’m not sure if i have any irrational fear. i will say when i’m at school gatsby always seeps on the floor in my bedroom with the door closed. not on the couch in the living room or any where else. for some weird reason i have some sort of thought that someone is going to break into our house in the middle of the night and somehow not want any of our things, but will want my dog. and gatsby will stolen from me forever…. and now i’m going to hug him for an hour straight while i whisper “i love you” in his ear over and over again.

  3. Bears. I’m very afraid of bears. I’m terrified that they have quietly developed opposable thumbs and will open the door of my suburban home and come right on in and eat me, after an appetizer of my dog.

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