It’s been a long ass time…

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Well hello there!

It amazes me I still knew how to log on AND figure out how to add a new post. I can’t even call myself a blogger anymore, that is how much of a slacker I am over here.

It makes me sad in a way, blogging used to be such a big part of my life – and now, it just isn’t. I think blogging was something I did when I had something better but not as exciting to do. Homework? Nah, I want to blog. Or blogging was an excuse to get out of the house. It gave me an excuse to go do things, to experience more, to say ‘yes’ more often. It was a way to document the little things that I otherwise would have forgotten if it didn’t show up on my TimeHop.

When I started to phase out blogging, I feel like a lot of my favourite bloggers were doing the same. Posts were getting more sporadic. No one was showing up as often as they were. But after signing on here again, I realized a lot of you are picking it back up again – not to mention Charlene, totally publicly peer pressured me to get my ass back in this chair and post something for me to read. So Charlene, this attempt to at least show up here a little bit more often is going out to you.

SO I guess you need a little bit of a catch up of my life?

And this kind of sucks. Because at this moment I realized how little there is to catch up on. Am I literally this boring? Fo’ realz?

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I landed my dream job. It is amazing. I can’t say enough wonderful things about it. I work from home, so I have a pretty awesome desk area. Not as awesome as it will be when Jamie and I get our own house and I have a full room to decorate, but it’s still pretty awesome.

Jamie won season hockey tickets from the newspaper, and somehow I have been lucky enough to not attend one game. I am telling you – life is good.

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I got glasses. Sort of. I was getting really bad headaches. Google told me I either had a brain tumour, or I needed glasses. I went to the Optometrist, who said my vision was fine, I just had some slight eye strain from staring at screens all day. So I have glasses, but they don’t have a prescription in them. They reflect blue light – so they are basically like sunglasses for my computer/tv/kindle/devices.

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I still drink too many Monsters, and should own stock in Starbucks.

Really not feeling this season of Greys. I’m not a Meredith fan – I don’t like her drama. I need more Alex.

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My Christmas tree is up. It went up a week later than I would have liked, but now that it’s up – it’s so beautiful. I love Christmas. CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS.

I signed up for the Reddit Secret Santa, which immediately just stepped up my ‘coolness’ on the ‘cool scale’. I kept going back and forth between national vs international partner – and decided to go international, because #MapleSyrup

I tried shawarma, and I loved it. It did hurt my stomach a little though, but I am hoping it was something besides the shawarma. I am yet to go back though.

Seriously, am I really this boring?

I guess so. That’s all I can really update you on to catch you up to speed.

How was this post Charlene?

Stereotypical Canadian Night

“She grew up watching hockey, with her daddy on saturday nights” – Dean Brody: “Canadian Girls”

Let’s go back in time to November 5th, around 6:45 AM. Jamie said to me in my pretty lethargic state something along the lines of “I won hockey tickets on Twitter. It’s either tonight or Thursday night. Not sure what day.” I then may have responded with the word Jennifer Lawrence said when asked what went through her head when she fell going up to receive an award “It was a bad word, that started with an ‘f'”… I began my negotiations on what is in it for me, and then agreed to go.

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Later that morning we learned the game was actually Thursday night which allowed time for denial, anger, acceptance – you know the normal stages of grieving.

Yesterday came around and I was asked to pick up the tickets to save us time later that evening.. I actually neglected to say that this was my FIRST EVER hockey game – I know, I put Canadian stereotypes to shame. So I was beyond nervous just picking the tickets up, so I decided to treat myself to a White Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks first!

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Jamie picked me up after work, he showered, and then all the festivities were able to start. I negotiated earlier in the week, going to a frozen yogurt bar which just opened up. Jamie enthusiastically complied to my demand needs.

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After the deliciousness it was time to go attend this game. We were walking towards the door with a herd of people and I loudly said to Jamie “okay stay close! It’s your first ever hockey game, and I am sure you are nervous”.. Everyone turned around and awkwardly stared at him.

We got to our seats and waited for it to begin. At one point it was ‘practice’ which I thought was pretty dumb – what the hell were they doing in the days leading up to the game? Watching movies? During their last minute practice, they were shooting pucks at the glass REALLY hard. I might have jumped and yelled a little bit every time.

This was like a legitimate sports game. They even sang the national anthem. Jamie took me to a Blue Jays game once, and they sung it, but I don’t know how credible they are – I mean, everyone randomly stands up and sings “take me out to the ball game”..

I learned a lot of things during the game:

  • A “penalty” is a grown man time out
  • booing the ref is nothing but annoying – IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE OUTCOME
  • No one claps for the other team for doing anything good – it is kind of rude
  • Jamie is unaware where the players moms sit
  • Jamie also does not know how the hanging things from the roof get cleaned
  • When the big buzzer goes, it does not mean its time to leave – it means there are 2 more periods and 2 breaks to go
  • The refs need to ‘consult’ over if the puck actually is in the net. I see it in the net. CLEARLY it is in.
  • At the end of the game 2000 people belt out “Sweet Caroline” for no reason at all

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After the game was over and we were leaving it was heavily snowing. Just to make the night that much more Canadian.

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In the end it was not a horrible night. The FroYo was amazing. The game was different. It was a pretty decent first hockey game experience!

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Do you like hockey?
What is your favourite frozen yogurt topping?
Would you belt out “Sweet Caroline”?

 

 

I Hate Sports

“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.” – Rodney Dangerfield

I think I have mentioned quite a bit just a few times, that I absolutely hate sports. Blasphemy right? How could someone hate sports? It seems so absurd. I feel like my reasons are completely legitimate as I am with a 100% sports addict. If Jamie is not watching sports, hes playing them, if hes not playing them hes reading about them, if hes not reading about them hes playing sport video games, if he is not playing video games hes talking about them, if hes not talking about them hes sleeping. Maybe that is a bit extreme – but not really. I have decided to compile my reasons, in no particular order.

Terminology: Oh my God!! Terminology is something which drives me absolutely nuts. There are terms which make no sense what so ever. For example:

Handicap: By definition, “Handicap” means “A condition that markedly restricts a person’s ability to function physically, mentally, or socially”…. Seriously, WTF does this have to do with golf? Really? Think about it!
Fantasy/Fantasy League/Fantasy Draft: One word which remains constant is “Fantasy”, again, lets look at the definition: “The Faculty of imagining things that are impossible or improbable.”, in other words “bullshit”, so why the hell do people care so much about their “bullshit team”. In addition to this, I hate having to wait around for Jamie to finish “drafting” his “bullshit team”. Tick tock.

Live Games

This is something else which is horrible. Please keep in mind I have not gone to many sporting events. In the summer I went to a baseball game, I’ve gone to a lacrosse game, and I have seen Jamie play baseball every week in the summer.
1) I cannot pose for a photo prior to, without looking scared out of my mind.
2) Why would I want to sit THAT close to someone? I don’t know you. I do not want my arm to know your arm. Also, if you are sitting beside me, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, start commentating the game to me. Im sitting right beside you buddy, stfu, I came here so I didnt have to listen to the paid commentator commentating.
3) To all of you drunk obnoxious neanderthals – do everyone a favor and not come. No one wants to listen to you calling the other team onto a fight
4) MOST IMPORTANT. It irritates me to NO end having to listen to people YELL at the ref. Your displeasure is NOT going to change his call. Sit down, and shut up. I Jamie did not pay for me to listen to you yell at something that is out of your control. Why don’t you go and yell at people who litter, maybe you can save the polar bears.

Replays/highlights

If I am watching sitting through a game, why do I need to watch the replay of the ball/puck/object going into the net in 18 different views. What does it matter? It went in. What else is there to see. The ref said it went in, it went in.

After watching a game where you also watched 18 different views of each goal/score/touchdown/hole why must one watch the highlights AFTER the game which is recapping the replays? Seriously? Watching the game was torture enough, why have re-watch the replays?

NASCAR

Round and round the merry go round, we get it.
The commentators annoy me also, “lets go racing boys” – week after week, its annoying – do everyone a favor and come up with a new saying. Better yet, mute the microphones.

NASCAR has to be the WORST for replays. Yes, he crashed, we saw it 18 different ways, but now must we listen to 14 different drivers, and 12 crew chiefs take on the crash? It happened, clean up the track so we can get a move on and finish this race so we cant watch the highlights.

Pitting – if I wanted to watch guys change tires, I would hang out at my local Canadian Tire for an afternoon and take in all the ‘excitement’.

The “roar” of the engines are “exciting”? Some of the best sleeps I had, I fell asleep to that “roar”

Lastly, I hate the talk to “racing strategy”. Really? If I am interesting in watching “strategy” I would go witness a chess game AFTER hanging out at Canadian Tire.

FOOTBALL

Nothing like seeing grown men slap each other on the ass after a “good play”.

Back to the commentators. Seriously, how much do you hate your life during each game? Talk about boring! “He has the ball. And he just passed it to him. He has done the unexpected here and passed to someone else. Oh no, he got tackled. What a run. Bad times. The other team has the ball now. And they’ve kicked it. Shocking.”

I threw a football with Jamie once. He tackled me. I was on the grass. THE GRASS.

HOCKEY

I am Canadian, and I hate hockey, is this blasphemy or what?

It it too fast + the puck is too small = hard to follow = headache = annoying

Enjoying/Watching hockey is like celebrating the cold and the snow, two things I hate. Oh, and its on ICE, so it is even colder.

I hate the smells of the area, and the disgusting fried food they provide.

I think it is pathetic watching grown men have a temper tantrum and fight with each other on the ice. Grow up and act like men, not 13 year old boys on the schoolyard.

CURLING

Aside from just being boring and having to listen to “HARDER, HARDER, HARDER” like some weird sexual thing, this is the sport Jamie watches when there are no other sports on. Therefore, I hate it.

BASEBALL

I went to game. There were drunk men. The man beside me wouldn’t stop commentating.

Baseball takes forever to finish.

Not only is 162 games/season WAY too long, but the fact that 8 teams make the playoffs. There are 30 teams, that means 26% of the teams make the play offs, they should only have 4 teams to end the season faster.

You can leave, go get a pizza, come home, eat the pizza, and you missed absolutely nothing,

My “Brother”

“There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

 

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Tonight, as is every Friday, was Date Night. Jamie and I go to the same place every week, have the same waitress, and don’t even require menus. We usually get there around 4:00 so it is generally incredibly quiet. Tonight however, we struggled to find a parking spot. It was packed.

When we got inside we were told there is a hockey tournament in town. As you all know, I HATE sports. Hate them, don’t care about them. Jamie’s interest was peeked – obviously. He did research and essentially told me the break down – which I essentially just nodded with a “wtf are you telling me” look.

Later on, a couple sits across from us. By a couple I mean 2 people on a blind date (the woman actually wore track pants and a hoody). Anyway, the man become infatuated with this hockey tournament and believed these guys played minor hockey. Our whole dinner consumed of listening to him talk about these hockey teams. On the way out I could not help but talk to him and inform him what was really going on.

This was the conversation,

Me: Hi there, I am sorry, I couldnt help but over hear you wonder about the hockey teams
Him: Yeah!! Who are they?
Me: There is a hockey tournament in town until the 19th, they are in the Mens Midget league, so they are 15-18. It is pretty big. My brother actually played in the tournament 3 years in a row a couple years ago.
Him: No way! That is awesome. I thought they looked a little young to be Minor league players
Me: Thats funny you say that, last year the tournament was the cause of 20 players being drafted. It is pretty big, it used to be sponsored by Century 21. Anyways, I will leave you two to your dinner! Enjoy!

…….. I don’t have a brother.