Guilty Pleasures and a Warning.

It’s Friday. It got off to a good start this morning. I was getting gas, Jamie pulled up beside me and said “Jules”, scared the shit out of me, and then handed me a coffee. At the time I thought “yeah, this is going to be a good day”. Little did I know that was just the beginning..

I spilled some coffee of me. By ‘some’, I mean, I have burns on my thigh.

I sit through traffic, and then finally get to Starbucks. I get out of my car, start walking, then I trip and do one of those running catch yourself fumble thing.

LADIES, do not, ever, lather your feet is foot cream and then wear sandals..

Although the above story has nothing to do with this post, I think it is a very important Life Lesson which everyone can benefit from..  Sandals + foot lotion = no, no.

Moving on to what I actually wanted to talk about – Guilty Pleasures. Everyone has them. I honestly, didn’t *know* what mine was until the other day when I was going through my phone and though “welp, I hope no one ever goes through this”….

// Instagram “Explore”… Well, this is what started it all. Clearly I have issues. Creeping strangers engagement rings…. And donkeys. Two things which really don’t go together, I cannot get enough of. The sad thing about this, is that I have multiple different hashtag creeps going to be sure not to miss any new engagement ring or donkey.

// Cooking shows. Not just any cooking shows. My own cooking shows. When I am home alone and cooking, I have this weird thing going on in my brain where I am essentially Giada and I am cooking for an audience. Full Narratives and all. The good part is that I do not talk out loud; I just talk to the voices in my head about it.

// Proposals on Youtube. Yup, I can’t get enough. I watch them on YouTube as well. Some are awful. I have a list which I have provided Jamie with of all the situations where the answer will flat out be “NO”. Sporting events, flash mobs, jumbo-trons, mascots, you get the idea. Oh and if I get board of proposals I will watch Maid of Honor speeches, which will eventually lead to Father Daughter dances. This is my favourite. Seriously, go watch it. Right now.

// Reading missed connections. Hello Kijiji. I love to sit there and read the missed connection section on Kijiji. The people pathetically pleading to be reunited with someone they MIGHT have met once, or not even at all. Think James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” mixed with Kijiji.  “She smiled at me on the subway [just one time and that’s all I really know about her]”.

 

// Paid Programming. You know it, the awful 30 minute TV ads for “The Magic Bullet”, “The AhhBra”, “Pajama Pants”. Yup, hit me up on that on a Saturday morning.

// Cookie Dough. I could eat a hole thing of this. Yeah, I know you can make “eggless cookie dough”, but I would much rather risk salmonella and have the real thing.

// Etsy. I will browse this for hours, knowing damn well I will not pay some of these outrageous shipping fees ($23.99 to ship an 8.5 X 11 piece of PAPER to Canada from NYC? No way. Nope). And then I will get my craft on an completely duplicate it.  It’s not stealing right?

// Kids clothing on Pinterest. I don’t even like kids. I don’t have a kid. But damn.

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What are some of your guilty pleasures?
Do you like raw cookie dough – Don’t lie.